So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
