margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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