why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She bit a glass in half.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
