If i come over, it means nothing
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
