I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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