i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
