I will die if light touches me.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
ok first of all what the fuck
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