My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
