Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
