i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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