if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize