I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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