you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
