He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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