one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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