I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
