o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
you never un-have a 4some
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
