We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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