What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
