no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
