My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
