Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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