Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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