My first STD was from a foam party
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
