the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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