i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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