WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
