Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
is that a dick in a sweater?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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