...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
