Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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