Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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