This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
