mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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