ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
