i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
