I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
