belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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