if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
