dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
