is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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