At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
