yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
