then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize