the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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