mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
