Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
