Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
