Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
