My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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