life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
